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Author Topic: TLD: Help needed  (Read 51775 times)

Offline Taal

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Re: TLD: Help needed
« Reply #45 on: June 21, 2011, 06:10:36 AM »
Anything you do need?

Offline MadVader

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Re: TLD: Help needed
« Reply #46 on: June 21, 2011, 06:16:31 AM »
Anything you do need?
An excellent writer with LoTR obsession and plenty of free time would help. Otherwise we are covered.
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tomato

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Re: TLD: Help needed
« Reply #47 on: June 21, 2011, 08:45:24 AM »
what kind of writing do you need?

Offline MadVader

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Re: TLD: Help needed
« Reply #48 on: June 21, 2011, 10:12:43 AM »
what kind of writing do you need?
Dialogs, rumors, all kinds of game text. But it has to be of high quality, we can write above average stuff ourselves (and we do :)).
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Offline Conners

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Re: TLD: Help needed
« Reply #49 on: June 21, 2011, 08:48:34 PM »
Might be able to do that... except I wonder if my writing style will either be too old fashioned or too modern...

If you could please give me a dialogue you want done, so I can do try-outs on that, then we could see (I should practice more with inbetween styles, anyway).

Offline MadVader

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Re: TLD: Help needed
« Reply #50 on: June 21, 2011, 09:06:06 PM »
Might be able to do that... except I wonder if my writing style will either be too old fashioned or too modern...

If you could please give me a dialogue you want done, so I can do try-outs on that, then we could see (I should practice more with inbetween styles, anyway).

Ok, here's one from Native, only slightly changed for TLD. It's a quest to capture an enemy lord.
Lord:
 "There is a difficult job I need done, {playername}, and you may be the one who can carry it off.\
 I need someone to capture one of the enemy commanders and bring him to me.\
 Afterwards, I'll be able to question him on the enemy battle plans.\
 It is a simple enough job, but whomever you choose will be guarded by an elite band of personal retainers.\
 Are you up for a fight?"
Player:
"Consider it done, {s65}."
or "I must refuse, {s65}. I don't want to get close to any of them."
Lord:
"I like your spirit! Go and bring me one of our enemies,\
 and I'll toast your name in my hall when you return! And reward you for your efforts, of course..."

Consider making two versions, one for Good and one for Evil sides. Only the meaning (capture an enemy commander) needs to stay the same, and the dialog sequence (Lord-Player-Lord), the rest is up to you.
Give it a shot!
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Offline Conners

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Re: TLD: Help needed
« Reply #51 on: June 21, 2011, 10:55:07 PM »
Hmm... I'm wondering whether to make it a bit more faction-specific than the good side or the evil side (you might've just said that for simplification, though). Just not sure whether making it too broad will make it come out awkward.
Might have a few tries at this, just to see whether I can improve over time.

Let's try for the evil side... I've gone for orcish or possibly uruk-hai-ish....

"The master has a task for you, {playername}.\
We need an officer of the enemy--someone who knows things and will tell them to us when put on the rack.\
Take an enemy leader alive, unspoiled, and bring him to me!\
Be careful, lest his guard shank you and leave you for the crows--who then would bring my prisoner...?\
I've explained your task, now get to it! The master will see you rewarded when it is done."
Player:
"I will bring a man, who will tell all he knows."
or "'The master' has a task for me? Do you think me a fool!? This is your task, {s65}, and you will take\
credit of this deed from me. If the master does hear of it, he will not hear it from *you*.\
I'm not one of your snaga pigs! So go and find one to do your work!"
Lord:
"He had better.\
 Bring him quickly to me, and only to me. *Then* I will tell the master of your deeds."


I'm trying to base the language off what I heard from the TLD mod currently released for 808. Was hoping to hint a bit more at political intrigue, the orc lord trying to take credit for your work (I'd see all orcs as trying to do this sort of thing). I don't have any encouraging words, based off the part where Merry and Pippin were captured, where almost every word the orcs spoke to one-another was an insult (notably, they were orcs and uruk-hai, and they seemed to hate each other's guts especially, but I feel that still normal for orcs).

The player's refusal, I've kept any direct insults from it. Not wise to insult someone more important, even if you are an orc--at least I imagine so. Still, I have made it quite rude, based off the way orcs speak (direct and rude, based off the aforementioned part and the mod). OF course, my perception of how things are done with orcs could be off.

Any advice for how I could improve this?


Question: With the:
["Line./
line./
line."
Player:]
I guess what this means, is all that all that first stuff is one text box, then it swaps to the player's text box? That's what I've figured, for this, but I wanted to be sure for future reference.

Question 2: You don't want the Lord to have a response for if you refuse with this one, right?

Question 3: I'm guessing there is a length limit, before the words go off the page or start shrinking themselves too much..? What is it?

Question 4: "{s65}" is the Lord's Name, right?

Question 5: I noticed there was spacing before certain lines. Is this important?

Question 6: How does what I wrote look :(?

Offline MadVader

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Re: TLD: Help needed
« Reply #52 on: June 22, 2011, 03:46:15 AM »
Hmm... I'm wondering whether to make it a bit more faction-specific than the good side or the evil side (you might've just said that for simplification, though). Just not sure whether making it too broad will make it come out awkward.
Might have a few tries at this, just to see whether I can improve over time.
There are so many dialogs, that we'll be lucky if we get the majority in good/evil variants. So, no faction-specific dialogs, or instead of 2, we'll have to have 18!
That means that evil questgivers are not necessarily orcs, but could be evil humans, that serve their leader first, then Sauron/Saruman. That's why we need more general dialogs that cover all good or all evil sides.

Let's try for the evil side... I've gone for orcish or possibly uruk-hai-ish....

"The master has a task for you, {playername}.\
We need an officer of the enemy--someone who knows things and will tell them to us when put on the rack.\
Take an enemy leader alive, unspoiled, and bring him to me!\
Be careful, lest his guard shank you and leave you for the crows--who then would bring my prisoner...?\
I've explained your task, now get to it! The master will see you rewarded when it is done."
Player:
"I will bring a man, who will tell all he knows."
or "'The master' has a task for me? Do you think me a fool!? This is your task, {s65}, and you will take\
credit of this deed from me. If the master does hear of it, he will not hear it from *you*.\
I'm not one of your snaga pigs! So go and find one to do your work!"
Lord:
"He had better.\
 Bring him quickly to me, and only to me. *Then* I will tell the master of your deeds."


I'm trying to base the language off what I heard from the TLD mod currently released for 808. Was hoping to hint a bit more at political intrigue, the orc lord trying to take credit for your work (I'd see all orcs as trying to do this sort of thing). I don't have any encouraging words, based off the part where Merry and Pippin were captured, where almost every word the orcs spoke to one-another was an insult (notably, they were orcs and uruk-hai, and they seemed to hate each other's guts especially, but I feel that still normal for orcs).

The player's refusal, I've kept any direct insults from it. Not wise to insult someone more important, even if you are an orc--at least I imagine so. Still, I have made it quite rude, based off the way orcs speak (direct and rude, based off the aforementioned part and the mod). OF course, my perception of how things are done with orcs could be off.

Any advice for how I could improve this?
I think it's a pretty good one, except the implied ubermaster and orcish style - better to let the questgiver speak on his own behalf. Liked "putting on a rack" and "to shank", "unspoiled" - a nice touch.

Question: With the:
["Line./
line./
line."
Player:]
I guess what this means, is all that all that first stuff is one text box, then it swaps to the player's text box? That's what I've figured, for this, but I wanted to be sure for future reference.

Question 2: You don't want the Lord to have a response for if you refuse with this one, right?

Question 3: I'm guessing there is a length limit, before the words go off the page or start shrinking themselves too much..? What is it?

Question 4: "{s65}" is the Lord's Name, right?

Question 5: I noticed there was spacing before certain lines. Is this important?

Question 6: How does what I wrote look :(?
Answers:
1. That's code notation: \ means the text continues in the following line (was too lazy to remove them :))
2. The lord can have a specific response if you refuse, yes. Better than a generic one, that is a default.
3. The length limit is high - it's amazing how much text can be stuffed into a single dialog line.
4. "{s65}" is either Lord (good) or Master (evil)
5. No
6. Very good. Are you willing to do hundreds of them? :) We have many that are done, but I think all of them should be at least checked and edited by someone who loves the English language and LoTR, and is a compulsive spelling and grammar Nazi. So writing AND editing (or rewriting).
Good writing brings a lot to the immersion (learned that in PoP, while working with Fawzia).
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Offline Conners

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Re: TLD: Help needed
« Reply #53 on: June 22, 2011, 05:33:23 AM »
Oh, I see now. Later, as something extra to do, we could try some faction specific stuff.


Ah, OK. So it's a task directly from him, rather than a task given to him which he gives to you? Wondering if we'll have any delgated tasks (IE: Ones the Master gives to the Lord who gives it to you), for writing purposes.

Quote
"I have a task for you, {playername}.\
We need an officer of the enemy--someone who knows things and, will tell them to us when put on the rack.\
Take an enemy leader alive, unspoiled, and bring him to me!\
Be careful, lest his guard shank you and leave you for the crows--who then would bring my prisoner...?\
I've explained your task, now go forth and see it done! You will be rewarded for your troubles, *when* you return, *with* a prisoner."
Player:
"I will bring a man, who will tell all he knows."
or "You have a task for I, {playername}? Or maybe, your task be for someone expendable.\
Unfortunately, Sir, my band is preoccupied with other missions. I am certain there are many orc snagas ready to seek your reward, and complete your task."
Lord:
"He had better.\
 Bring him quickly to me, and only to me. *Then* I will tell the master of your deeds."
or "You arrogant wretch! I gave you a task not to hear your complaints and insecurities!\
*This time*, I will allow you to attend to your, "other duties".\
Do not return, until you are ready to *fight* when bid... lest I find new uses for the rack."
I'm insecure about this submission... Lost it JUST when I had finished it, and it felt like I couldn't get into the right mood when I tried to re-do it. Please tell me what you think of it.


Thank you for clarifying those questions.

As for a hundred of them... I will try, but I don't promise to be constant. They won't always be of the same quality, either (I seem to not write well when stressed or sick).

Not a Tolkien Scholar, I'm embarassed to say, so I won't be great for the lore part of that equasion. I'm OK with spell-checking, though.

I definitely agree with good writing. Can make bad games look good, and can make good games look amazing. And can make amazing games look... I think you get the picture :D.


Either way, that's my submissions for now... need to rest before I try another one (low on energy today). Will do my best to improve.
To help, I'm also writing for another LotR mod, if they're OK with having me. That way, I can practice with two mods and improve my writing for both.


If you're happy with that bit (I'll go over it a few more times if you're not), please give me a few more to work on.

tomato

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Re: TLD: Help needed
« Reply #54 on: June 22, 2011, 07:02:15 AM »
Isn't "consider it done" a rather modern saying? I imagine the good guys would say "It shall be done" and the bad guys would use "It will be done" or "your will be done"
« Last Edit: June 22, 2011, 07:04:10 AM by tomato »

Offline Conners

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Re: TLD: Help needed
« Reply #55 on: June 22, 2011, 08:01:53 AM »
Well, it was only an example thing for me to edit.

tomato

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Re: TLD: Help needed
« Reply #56 on: June 22, 2011, 08:43:03 AM »
Oh oops sorry I missed that part! :)

Offline Conners

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Re: TLD: Help needed
« Reply #57 on: June 22, 2011, 06:49:46 PM »
Either way, if MadVader isn't terribly disgusted by my poor talent, and doesn't never want to see me again, I'm ready for whatever he'd like to throw at me.

Offline Taal

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Re: TLD: Help needed
« Reply #58 on: June 22, 2011, 07:33:35 PM »
Have you guys asked Winter?

I might be able to help. A list of dialogue topics (quest types, preferred rumour topics, other types of recurring game texts) would help a bit.  Other then that, I'll throw a few examples together to make sure you like my direction.

For my own quick reference:
Here's the faction list (hopefully not a spoiler):
Gondor
Erebor
Rohan
Mordor
Isengard
Lothlorien
Imladris
Mirkwood Elves
Dale
Harad
Rhun
Khand
Umbar
Moria
Dol Guldur
Mt.Gundabad
Dunlendings
Beornings

Offline Triglav

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Re: TLD: Help needed
« Reply #59 on: June 23, 2011, 04:19:01 AM »
We have rumours practically all done, but there is plenty work still in good and evil versions of:

-quest chats
-guards chats
-mayor chats
-lord chats

So even if you have a look at vanilla basic chats and wanna post here LOTR-ised good and evil versions of them, you're welcome!
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